Sunday, May 29, 2011

Saturn Returns recap

I thought my last post which I copied and pasted from my new blog ( Chasing my passion was the end of Saturn Returns. As, I started to exit this site I noticed the date 5/29/2011 and chuckled to myself, I realized that I started this blog nearly a year to this date. What an interesting coincidence....I've learned so much and am so grateful for having this vehicle to document my growth. I'm sad to end this blog (my baby) but feel this is just the beginning.I'm ending this blog to start a new chapter in my life but feel my life is limitless.

I'm no longer 29 years old going or 30 trying to figure out what my life is going to be. I'm 30 years old and am pretty confident that I'm following a spiritual path that will serve many people. I'm many things but a healer for certain. My friends and family sort of chuckle at me and raise an eyebrow at this idea - that's ok. I feel like this year through positve and even perceived negative experiences (which we're also positive via lessons); I've learned to love myself, strengthened my faith, see beauty in all things, humble myself ( still learning), started to eliminate fearful behavior resulted in me clinging on to things that no longer serve because I thought that was all I had, the difference between forgiveness and allowing repeated offenses, Self - Worth, Confidence, true meaning of happiness free from stuff ( money, title, relationship status, etc), and many other things....

I haven't conquered all these lessons but know how to extract them from almost any situation and continue to apply them to my life. It's very liberating to know who I am and to have found my purpose. I still have to work on developing my intuition, communicating better, and relying on my own understanding versus what I'm told to believe. It's a process but one I welcome. I'm ready to stand in my true strength above influence.

" There is no competition and no comparison for we are all different and meant to be that way. I am special just the way I am It is safe for me to love myself. I am truly blessed." Dr. Dee

Road to Loving Myself ......Chasing my passion

I had a wonderful weekend - May 21st began with my partner and I participating in a Women's Wellness Fair. We both provided Reiki service for any attendee interested. Our sessions were provided in tandem double the energy for our clients :) and we were rewarded with positive feedback as a result. Feedback is very important whether positive or negative because it helps us become better healers. Personally, I like to know what the client may be experiencing energywise because I'm curious as to whether we're experiencing the same things or their experiences mirror other clients Reiki session. I also enjoy hearing past and present stories involving others experiences with Reiki - always amazing.

After the fair, my partner and I had a very late lunch and rushed back to my house to drop off the massage table. I had a concert to attend and was very excited about it. I intended to see Adele around 8pm. Plan B opened for her and they surprised me with their electic mix of Reggea, Rap, R&B, and Doo Wop - I really enjoyed their performance. Adele came out around 9pm, the crowd went nuts, and the energy was just electrifying. Adele's voice filled the entire theatre, beautiful, raw, and touching. She not only has a great voice but a fantastic, playful, smart personality. During one of her mini breaks after a song she said " Singing is my passion, I'm so lucky that my job is my passion and it allows me to travel, see things, meet new people, and live music." It made me think of all the years, I sat at my cubicle staring out the window wishing my life were different or I were lucky enough to live my passion. I realized then that I could live my passion. I could enjoy my career as much as Adele does ......I'm the boss of my life. I left the concert feeling inspired.

I went into the next day injected with this sense of purpose. It didn't hurt that I was doing volunteer work the next day as a Reiki practioneer for women battling breast cancer (check out this amazing organization). I thought I was going to interview but I was put to work right away which was a blessing because I learned so much. In my heart, I really believe that I'd serve these women but they served me. I learned so much about my modality and how to serve people; emotionally, physically, and mentally.

A Reiki Master demonstrated the flow of energy before and after a session with a cancer patient using a pendelum. If there were any doubts in my mind regarding this modality it was immediately dismissed. Reiki has changed my life. I'm more compassionate, loving, better at self regulating, and everything that was important to me no longer is....

I'm all about progressing along my spiritual path. I hope that I can work in holistic healing full time and be successful. I truly believe energy work needs to be taught and utilized by all to promote health and wellness. The weekend that
just passed has encouraged me to start turning the tables on society and beliefs about money, love, and life that no longer serves me.

As a result Ive started a new blog -

Started a new business -

and am walking my path

I will continue writting about my journey on my new blog - please pop over and check out the progression of my garden

Friday, May 20, 2011

Road to Loving Myself ......Realizing my self worth

I quit my job on May 14, 2011 which now represents my personal revolution.I was berated by my co - worker for the umpteenth time but this time was different. It was as if I finally realized " I didn't have to accept this type of treatment from her or anyone else. I finally realize my self worth. I AM worthy of respect and deserve better. I deserve the life I desire. I sat at my desk until 4am listening to my soul and made a decision not to live in FEAR but embrace FAITH. I tossed aside all my fears about money, the economy, other peoples approval, and perceptions and decided to LIVE FOR ME!!!

I've decided to use this time to meditate and explore my spirituality. I've always prayed but have now decided to take this time to listen and discover myself.

Who am I without a job?

Who am I without a steady income?

Who am I without a title?

Who am I removed from my clan; family, company, organizations, etc?

What do i want to do?

Who do I chose to love?

Am I passionate about what I'm doing?

Am I serving anyone?

Am I making a difference?

Am I even writting my own story or living out someone elses plot?


I cannot proclaim to have all or any answers but I intend to find out.

I'm now apart of my community garden not to align myself with another "group" but to start doing things , i never had the time to.....

I planted tomatoes, cabbage, lettuce, peppers, sunflowers, peppermint, and thyme. As, I tend to my garden, I will tend to my soul. I will water, fertilized, and expose my health, beliefs about prosperity, self - esteem, and relationships to sunlight so they flourish along with my garden.

I promise myself - I will recreate my life and reap the rewards of all I've sown.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Road to loving me .........Changing my perspective.

On February 3, 2011, I set an intention (see below). My intention was to grow spiritually this year;

"2011 is going to be dedicated to reaching the next level on my Spiritual Journey; finding balance, forgiveness, acceptance, embracing cooperation versus competition, learning to trust, reflecting on my choices, having faith, going with the grain by being flexible, and being more selfless. I will try to document this journey as best I can."

I've been wanting to write about my spiritual growth for over a month now but couldn't and still can't find the right words to convey this feeling of grace. What I will say is this ....... My spiritual growth has been completely unorthodox. I'm not adhering to the guidelines of any particular religion or belief system but am encompassing aspects of all religions and beliefs while leaving politics behind . My journey has encouraged me to follow my intuition which has led me to various talk shows, books, radios shows, enlightening everyday conversations, energy healing ( Reiki I certified) , etc. Following my intuition has changed my perspective.

My new perspective in turn has changed my life. My happiness, optimism, gratitude, and faith has multiplied 1000x's. I walked around feeling absolutely blissful for weeks. Although, nothing in my life had changed; I don't have a new boyfriend - yet :), I live in the same apt, I have the same job , earn the same pay, scale reads the same ( although not really weighing in), etc. Because my state of bliss didn't/doesn't stem from external factors it comes from within. In this state over an extended period time , I became fearful - how can I maintain? I looked up at the sky and said " God, please don't let anything happen that'll shake this feeling"

Guess what, God laughed and then 3 things happened ......

1.I disagreed with the way a co worker handled an issue and got upset and let it be known. The after math was hard for me because I was doing such a great job controlling my anger and being Zen.

2.Lost my cell phone during an inopportune time financially - I went into why me mode?, broke down, and said to myself "My life needs to change".

3.I was contacted by an ex who wanted to use my feelings for him to shake me down for non existent cash. - I was angry at God because I said you allowed me to feel blissful then force me to deal with things what would shake up anyone's faith in their potential to main this internal source of happiness. I mean " How can I be forgiving if I'm going to be used?

I learned 3 things as a result

1. Anger is a choice. Anger can't be answered with Anger beacuse the result is alot of anger :). Anger's response is patience, empathy, and humility, I learned the definition of humility via a book my intuition led me to written by Caroline Myss - Entering the Castle. If I get nothing from this book - I know the pages on humility spoke to my soul. I needed to hear this information.

Humility isn't Humiliation. Humility is a powerful shield for the soul, without humility I am unbalanced, the smallest motion can rock my boat and upset me.

e.g. a person doesn't greet me, I'm not 1st in line, not seated in the 1st row, not waited on in a restaurant fast enough, not invited to a certain party / meeting , how dare They?, I can't go out like that .......What will They say? etc. I may not have had trouble with all these examples per say, but can assure you - I have substitutes.

Someone making a critical remark could destroy me for hours, days, weeks, months, years, or even permentally without therapy.

Relationships I allowed to disintegrate because pride prevented a reconciliation.

A humble person would move through these incidents without leaving a wake.

Humility is releasing the need to win.

Humility is not having to have the last word.

Humility is not always having to have insecurities reinforced with endless support.

Humility is the ability to help someone who has injured me.

Humility is to say sorry, not wait years for the other person to apologize before speaking to him or her.

Humility is the ability to appreciate the people who dedicate their lives to helping me make my dreams come true ; whether in a corporate setting, small business, and/ or family.

I could chose to be humble or angry.

2. Everything happens for a reason or for our highest good. - I lost my phone which was found the next day at the bank. However, in that time without the distractions of texting/ talking/ and webbing. I revisited a thought which involves a career changes through my new eyes. I'm planning, praying, and I'm looking forward to this positive change. If you're quiet - divine inspiration follows.

3. Life will recreate situations until you learned the original lesson

even better - Everything in life is a lesson.

Although, the situation with my ex was brief ( 42hrs tops). I learned a lot - it's OK to stop blaming myself for our break up ; I'm not crazy and need to trust my instincts/ intuition. I also learned about love and life paths - everyone you love isn't on the same path ( no better or worse just a different path), a person can love you and not be for you, a person can love you and hurt you, you can be in love but not for each other. I learned that lesson because I didn't get it the first time.I knew in my action and mind that I shouldn't pine but my heart wanted to know - what if?

My new questions are - What if I treasure the present moments? , relish the memories? , forgive the hurt?, forget to wonder? and move on 100% ? The answer is other door will open.

I'm happy and thank God for showing me that bliss is within reach.