Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Ever since I turned 31, I’ve been feeling an intense restless. It feels like something is missing and the hollowness is causing an ache within my soul. The once barely audible echo threatening civil unrest is intensifying because aging is wearing away on my ability to daydream about my goals coming to pass in the future. My soul whispers “the future is now”. The message is given in a curt, demanding, and unfeeling way.
My soul doesn’t want to hear excuses about needing more time, feeling insecure, feeling scared…….
My soul doesn’t care ……it wants to be filled and its appetite is ravenous.
My soul craves passion, accomplishments, reverence,courage, respect……
My soul isn’t interested in useless emotions such as regret.
My soul demands that I make decisions and stand by them, that I try, face my fears, give it my best and even fall short at times.
I’m scared. I'm not brave. I have moments of courage ...Why can't that be enough?
My soul laughs as it allows this echo to travel further and become louder. The sound is so uncomfortable; it pierces my heart, penetrates my brain, and vibrates so loudly within me that the protective walls I’ve put up are cracking.
My soul is merciless……
The time to figure things out has ended.
If I don’t experience every moment of my life; joy, sadness, uncertainty, fear, love, hate, excitement, and everything in between.
My soul is threatening to suck the life force within me and allow me to sink into an abyss of despair.
My soul believes in my abilities, tough love, and not settling,
My soul is demanding GREATNESS.