Friday, August 6, 2010
That change will do me good
I haven’t worked out in 7 days, blogged consistently, recorded my intake or stuck to my eating routine which is to be super healthy 5 days and allow myself treats within reason on the weekend, my apartment is a mess, and I’ve been cheating on my budget. I’ve been playing video games, mini traveling, taking mental health days, trying to arrange dates * ignoring side eye – it’s been a while*, and cocooning myself in titillating, numbing, hedonistic pleasure for a few days. I’m learning that changing ones life is hard. It’s easy to live in the present and feel gratified – RIGHT NOW! Yet, I want to live in the present, enjoy every moment, quit fast forwarding my life, and thinking something better is on the horizon. I also need balance, life can’t be heady, aromatic, zestful, flavorful, gay, intoxicating, soul stirring, beyond pleasurable all the time or if can be …..It’s only right these joys should be earned? They shouldn’t be taken without a second thought about tomorrow – right??
My grandfather once told me “In my youth, I planted seeds to harvest the bounty in my old age”. I was thirteen or so when he said this to me, but recognized the innate truth in this statement. I’m young and should be working hard, laying the foundation for a great future, and enjoy life along the way. Those blessed with youth should recognize that time is on our side …for now. Especially if healthy; we have energy to spare, fast metabolisms, enough elbow room to make mistakes, and turn it all around. In turning it all around, I admit it’s not and won’t be easy, bad habits are hard to break especially enjoyable ones.
My post isn’t about berating myself but recognizing my mistakes. It’s about not getting defeated because I’m not perfect. It’s about culminating my lessons learned about perseverance, forgiveness, and regret. I have to say although your girls been slipping. I haven’t slipped too far because I’m use to doing more right than wrong these days. In the end it’s not about falling off the bike but getting up and trying to learn to ride anyway.
Poet’s day has officially ended – Piss off Early Tomorrow’s Saturday * wink*
I'm old enough to recognize the reward in hardwork is sweeter than the joys of temporary bliss.